F.R.I.E.N.D.S Forever

After much thinking, she had finally summoned the courage…
The air was cold and in this part of the city had certain freshness to it. The cool air had cast a rosy effect on everyone and everybody seemed to have ‘pink- pink’ cheeks. But hers were a pale yellow. They were both sitting across each other on the open terrace of the coffee shop… he had picked up newspapers from the rack and was glancing at the headlines, scourging for interesting news… a cup of coffee -black and strong- held casually between his fingers and she was playing with the tumbler-shaped ice in her ice-tea.
She looked up and glanced towards him. He seemed to there but not with her. A shiver ran up her spine and she turned her eyes.
There were a number of people around. In one corner there was a young & boisterous gang of friends celebrating the day with plate after plate of ‘chocolate fantasy’ –ies and in another, two men munching on chicken burger and discussing… maybe yesterday’s tennis match or the upcoming World Football Championship or their work or boss or maybe the four women sitting 2-3 tables away from them. The women were all in their late twenty’s and had an animated conversation going on between them. They were dressed well and looked cheerful. For a second, she thought of friends and her mind frantically sms’d them saying that she was missing them. As her gaze shifted she saw a very old couple sipping tea and enjoying each other’s company with the ease of old friends and the passion of new love-birds and tucked away in a corner… thinking that they are hidden from world’s view, was a very young couple… around 17-18… sitting beside each other… holding hands under the table and blushing.

She looked back at her fast-turning-warm ice-tea and sipped a little.
“Vibu, shall we go for movie?”
…she desperately wanted him to agree, as today she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him…
“Hiya, I have some work. I have to go back in an hour. Some other time.”
“But Vibu, we have met almost after a week today and you promised you will spend the day with me. Please. I’m not going to let you go”
“Don’t behave stubbornly Hiya. I have to go no matter what you say”
“But sweetie…”
“Stop it jaan” …and he went back to his newspaper. Hiya closed her eyes.
As the haze cleared Hiya saw herself… cheeks pink, eyes bright, a confused smile on her face and a phone stuck to her ears. She could feel her heart pounding in her throat as she heard his question.
“Hiya, do you love me? Please tell me Hiya… do you love me? I know you do… but I want you to confirm. Once. Just once. Tell me Hiya. Tell me.”
She could feel each beat of the moment gone by with the same flurry of emotions… until some days back she had never felt time had passed… but today, as she closed her eyes, the moment brought with it a stab of pain… and a realization, that it had been 5 years ago!
“What do u wanna eat?” Vibu’s voice brought her back into reality.
Hiya waited to hear a warm ‘jaan’ at the end… she had become used to hearing it in every sentenc … but then she realized, “nothing lasts forever” and it had been time her habit of expecting, changed.
“I will have a paneer role Vibu”
She quickly returned to sip the remaining ice-tea and heard Vibu say “One chicken burger and one paneer role, please”
“Aaj ke newspaper mein there is an interesting article on the 3 women of India- Mayawati, Jayalalitha and Mamta Banerjee. You ought to read this.”
By the time she said okay, he was back to the newspaper and gazing at the greenish liquid that had become a lighter green because of the melting of ice she saw a beautiful image in the round of the liquid at the bottom of the glass.
“I love you jaan”
Her face lit up hearing his words, and in his warm embrace, she softly asked, “how much?”
“khud se…” he spoke in her ears promptly.
There was so much warmth in those words that her eyes swelled up and two tiny tears rolled down her eyes.
His grip around her firmed and he said, “I thought tum mere words sunkar khuhs hogi, but tum to silly ho, rone lagi. Sshhhh… don’t cry. I just can’t see tears in your eyes.”
Presently she felt a slight wetness on her cheek and hastily wiped it with her fingers.
She had taken a tough decision and she would not show how weak she felt. Her decision demanded her to be strong and more than that his words. “ye rona- dhona band karo, please. Stop your drama.” Never ever would she cry infront of anyone ever again. Never ever.
The paper had been kept aside and also the memories. The order had been served and Vibu opened both the ketch-up sachets and gave it to her. She picked up one and squeezed out the ketch-up into a ‘smiley’ on her paneer role. Vibu smiled and so did she.
“So how was your birth day Vibu? Had fun?”
“Yeah. But I missed you a lot. I wish I could have been with you.”
Hiya smiled and said, “C’mmon yaar. You were doing things you enjoy, having things you like and for a change had so many friends with you on your birthday. I’m sure with me it would have been pretty routine. Aur Baby, if you were wanting to be with me so much, you know we could have met. Tum to itne busy the ki baat tak karne ki fursat nahi thi tuhare paas”
“Tum to jaanti ho na mere friends aaye hue the. Phir college ke bande bhi aa gaye. And I had so much work to do. Almost all day i was busy. And we did talk. You were the first to wish me dear.”
“hmmm…”
“Oh! I forgot to tell you that tomorrow morning I’m leaving for Mahabaleshwar with a few friends for 2-3 days.”
“What? Tomorrow? You mean again we are not going to meet”
“Just for 2-3 days yaar”
For a second she did not want him to go, but then she thought that it was good that he was going. This would give her time too.
“Vibu I had to say something to you. I mean I had to give you something.” She took out the red envelope from her bag and placed it on the table.
She could see him smile as he asked “Whats this sweetie?”
And she could feel herself fighting to keep her tears back as she teased him in reply, “Don’t call me sweetie.”
She managed a smile on her face and finally added, “Whatever it is, its for you. But if you want it, you have to promise that you will open it tomorrow, on your way to Mahabalehwar. And I expect that you will atleast keep this promise.”
“But… why?”
“No buts Vibu. You promise, you get it. Else it goes back with me in my bag.”
“Ummm… okay. Promise”
As he was about to pick it up from the table, she moved her hands and held his in hers. She just loved it. Holding his hands with their fingers inter-twined. But today, their clasped hands over that envelope were so ironical. She was thankful at least right now he was patient. She tightened her grip and said with a little smile, “Have fun their sweetheart. I’ll miss you a lot. Be safe and happy.” And silently in her heart she added, “Always”
She tightened her grip one last time, closed her eyes, felt his hand, his whole being and then, she let go.
Vibu picked up the envelop, paid the bill and said “Now my dear, should I leave?”
“Yes, you may. But remember, you cheated me again. I was supposed to have you to myself for the whole day”
This time he laughed, “Are you ever satisfied?”
Hiya smiled, “Funny. And yeah, I am going to my aunt’s place tonight. So my phone is going to be switched off. Okay? Take care”
“Bye, Hiya”


...continued...

“If there's something that you're dreaming of then may it all come true, because you deserve it all...HAPPY BIRTHDAY.”

May you live all the days of your life.
- Jonathan Swift

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
- Robert Orben

maine jeena bahut pehle seekh liya tha... wo baat aur hai ki kabhi saansein ruk ruk si jati hai...

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Couldn't think of anything else...

Ajeeb dastaan hai ye,kahan shuru kahan khatam,

Ye manzilein hai kaun si,na wo samajh sake na hum...

Ye roshni ke saath kyun,dhuaan utha chirag se,

Ye khwab dekhti hoon mai,ki jag padi hoon khwab se...

Ajeeb dastaan hai ye,kahan shuru kahan khatam,

Ye manzilein hai kaun si,na wo samajh sake na hum...

Mubarakein tumhe ki tum,kisi ke noor ho gaye,

Kisi ke itne paas ho,ki HUMSE door ho gaye...

Ajeeb dastaan hai ye,kahan shuru kahan khatam,

Ye manzilein hai kaun si,na wo samajh sake na hum...

Kisika pyaar leke tum,naya jahaan basaoge,

Ye shaam jab bhi aayegi,tum humko yaad aaoge...

Ajeeb dastaan hai ye,kahan shuru kahan khatam,

Ye manzilein hai kaun si,na wo samajh sake na hum...

i want it on juke box...

Bebasi dard ka aalam,Tum mujhe de do apne gham,
Khamoshiyaan bhi do, tanhaiyaan bhi do, bechainiyaan bhi de do,
De do na...
Bheegi palkon se chura loonga nami,
Rehne doonga na, kahi koi kami,
Tumko daaman na bheegone doonga,
Ab kabhi tumko na rone doonga.
Uljhane gham ki parchhai,
De do mujhe apni tanhai,
Gumnamiyaan bhi do, nakaamiyaan bhi do, veeraniyaan bhi de do,
De do na...
Tere hothon pe sajaa doonga hasi,
Teri raahon mein bichha doonga khushi,
Tum mujhe apna maanti ho agar,
Yoon khafa hoke na jhukao nazar.
Mushkilein apni majburi,
De do mujhi saari benoori,
Pareshaaniyaan bhi do, hairaniyaan bhi do, nigebaaniyaan bhi de do,
De do na...
Bebasi dard ka aalam,
Tum mujhe de do apne gham,
Khamoshiyaan bhi do, tanhaiyaan bhi do, bechainiyaan bhi de do,
De do na...

Gestures...

“A smile, consideration, kind words, a glance, a touch –

What magic by them is wrought.”

                                                                               -anonymous

 

Most of the times, it is not about commitment. It is just about a gesture which says you care. A gesture that would make a person feel wanted, remembered, understood, loved, cared for, important.

And this stands true for almost every relationship… husband-wife, brother-sister, parent- child, friends, grandparents-grandchildren, employer-employee, etc.

This simple statement with an even simpler philosophy is actually very complicated. And ‘understanding’, which varies from person to person, plays the most pivotal role in complicating it. For some, my saying that it is the little gestures shown in the day to day life which would make your loved one feel cared for and important; might sound like crap. Some might get aggressive and angry thinking it to be a challenge to their love and commitment. For them lack of consideration and the willingness to make that extra effort for the other person is not lack of love. Even for me, it is not. But the biggest problem is that they also think, if they love a person to the utmost, nothing can increase or decrease or change the equation of their love, their relationship. Such people tend to take their love and relationship for granted. There are also some who realize the importance of these little gestures of reminder and consolidation, but they keep them limited to special occasions or special gifts.

What people do not realize is the importance, gestures shown in everyday life-in little things or decisions or habits, hold in our relationships.

A mother always, right from the moment her child is conceived, is willing to take care of her/his each and every need. When the child is small, she feeds her, bathes her and entertains her, manages her clothes and her toys. When the child is growing, she cooks for her, helps her take her first step to school, get ready, do homework, make friends and develop hobbies. On the threshold of adolescence, she guides her child and helps her/him familiarize this world. A father always takes every responsibility he has to for his child. He never shrugs off his child thinking her/him to be a burden for who he has to earn. Right from your first cry to the last tears you shed on their death bed- your education, games, hobbies, career, relationships, marriage, spouse and children- your parents are always there. A child can manage a lot of the things mentioned above on her/his own. But parents prefer to do all themselves so that they sprinkle our entire life with so many gestures on an everyday basis that it keeps the relationship warm and alive. And this is the reason why a child’s relationship with her/his parents, never changes.

All of us love our parents. But what is it that we do to make them feel special? Many a times we would just shrug off even the little errands they want us to do. Having dinner with the boss might feel important while eating with our parents might feel cumbersome. When told this, most of us would say something like “Oh, are daily routines just don’t match”. An adult can take her/his own decisions on every matter, big or small. But why parents can’t be told and consulted about it, before taking it. Not doing it will not make them feel as if you don’t love them. But yeah, doing it will certainly make them feel and realize, the importance they hold in your life.

There are two children Aaina and Aanch. Both the girls belong to families where all the housework is managed by servants. Every morning, Aaina’s governess wakes her up and helps her get ready for school, while the servants get her breakfast prepared and lunch packed. Aaina’s mother, having assured that her child has all the facilities she needs, sleeps peacefully. After getting ready Aaina eats her breakfast, with the governess standing beside her and leaves for school. At the house of Aanch, her mother wakes her up every morning and leaves her with the governess to get ready. Meanwhile she goes to the kitchen and supervises the servants preparing food for her daughter. After getting ready, Aanch always finds her mother waiting for her at the table where she eats her breakfast and leaves for school. Both children get the same facilities but there is a difference in their relationship with their mother. While the former share a relationship of convenience, the latter share a relationship sprinkled with a little gesture which speaks volumes to the child. It makes the child immensely happy and secure that her mother never forgets to remember her, to take care of her little needs. Even though Aanch’s mother also, personally does not do anything, the little effort she makes, imbibes in her child, a feeling of being wanted, cared for…

I actually remember a girl from my school days whose brilliance dimmed, because after 16 years of her life she realized that she missed the warmth of gestures in the relationship she shared with her mother. Her parents- both working- provided her with all the facilities a child generally needs and in return she satiated them by doing brilliantly well in school- excellent academically, good in extra-curricular activities(oration, singing, dancing), smart, confident, vibrant. In short, an ideal daughter. When we were in our 11^th grade, we noticed an aura of sadness around her. She appeared cheerless, stopped eating her lunch and started looking bleak. After a few days, we came to know of the reason behind her somberness.

It is a general habit among students to sit with their friends during recess and enjoy their own and each other’s lunch. Amongst the varied topics of discussion, very often the culinary skills of each other’s mothers are being discussed. “My mom makes such yummy noodles! They are my favourite. And she has packed noodles for my lunch today”. “You have brought paranthas today! Great! Aunty makes them so delicious”. “The way your mom prepares paneer ki subzi renders it very tasty. Please request her to pack some for lunch next time”. This girl had always, since her childhood, eaten food cooked by the servants and since the time she had been a child, all around her, such discussions had taken place. Even she participated in them. She had never bothered about servants cooking her food because she had been brought up with the notion that her mother had other work to do and did not have the time to indulge in cooking. They had been sharing a relationship of convenience.

One day, after all those years, she realized she wanted to enjoy food cooked by her mother and so she went and had the following conversation with her mother.

“Mother, I know you are busy and have a lot of work to do. You do your best possible to manage your work, this house and our family. And you do it all very well. But I was just wondering if you could, just once in a week prepare lunch for me. I really relish the food you cook and also want my friends to enjoy it.”

“What has happened to my darling daughter? What useless things have gone into your mind? You know it is not possible with so much work. And why this silly request now? After so many years? Does the servant not do his work efficiently?”

“Oh! He does it. And prepares whatever I want to eat. But that is not the issue. I just wanted to have food cooked by you for my lunch, any one day in a week.”

“If you get your favourite to eat, I do not see why you should be having a problem. I think some friend of yours has filled your mind with crap. Take it out of your mind and go. You don’t want to cause inconvenience to me, right? Goodnight.”

After this conversation, every day during recess she would throw all her lunch and remain hungry. When we got to know about it we said if she did not want to eat what her servant cooked, we would share it and in return we would get lunch for her. So, all her friends got their mothers to pack something extra for her every day. And in a few days she felt cheerful again; from the little gesture she had loaned from the mothers of her friends.

See! The kind of magic a loaned gesture can create. Think of the magic a genuine gesture would create!

The relationship a husband and wife or for that matter any other couple in love; not married or living-in or engaged, etc. share, changes and matures over time. Comfort level and understanding increases. But with the increase in maturity and comfort level, the special element decreases. Because then, many other things kick in. ‘taking the other for granted’, ‘I will not be dictated by my husband. I have my own individuality’ or ‘I can’t dance to the tune of my wife. What will my friends think? I need my space’. When I talk about ‘special element’ I mean that factor which is there in the relationship of a new couple. Making allowance for certain traits of the other and making adjustments regarding certain habits of your own. Doing or not doing something- not because your partner wants it but because YOU feel that if your partner has strong feelings attached to the particular thing you don’t mind doing or not doing it(as the case maybe). You just want to make your partner happy and not hurt her/him. Both partners are more than willing to bend and adjust so that their flow unites and they can flow together. AND THIS IS MATURITY.

But after sometime any one partner or both begin to think that, now, since they are flowing together in one direction, no matter what, they will continue to flow together till they reach the sea. And then one day suddenly, without consulting the other, one partner decides to change her/his directions a little. She/he takes it for granted that since they are flowing together, the other partner will also change directions with her/him. And if the other partner does not and the first one is adamant, soon the river (in some cases without even realizing) dissects again into 2 streams, both flowing in different directions. Is this not distorting the perfect harmony both created themselves? Is this not the lack of a little gesture of caring- which would have made a person think about her/his partner or maybe consult the other regarding any changes; keeping in mind that she/he is not flowing alone but together with her/his partner towards the sea?

Listening to the suggestions and requests of your loved ones and complying with them makes you no slave or puppet. Taking care of their needs and making allowance for their freaks would not subjugate you. Instead it would make your partner feel important in your life. Your partner would feel her/his need in your life. It should be in the mind of a partner, while doing anything or taking just any decision, big or small, that your partner respects you and nothing which decreases that respect or shakes the faith, should be done. Take care that you are meant to flow together in the perfect harmony you created yourself; everyday. And this gesture will keep the magic alive for years.

And before I forget to mention, there are also some people who have woven their lives and relationships into a cozy web built with the silken threads of little gestures which keep the bond strong and let love and care flowing from the centre reach out to all corners of their relationship. I congratulate them on their sensibilities and deep rooted maturity.

Lack of these gestures is not the lack of commitment, or even love. It is just taking the vibrancy out of your relationship. For people who might be finding my words superfluous, I can assert it again.

Lack of consideration and the willingness to make that extra effort for the other person is not lack of love. But yeah… it definitely is the lack of that special element which creates magic in relationships.

The sun is there in the sky. Everyone knows. But if it stops radiating the warmth and sunshine, people wouldn’t be bothered if it is there or not. Ache special effects ke bina picture hit nahi hoti mamu!